Why'd You Come Back?
by nicjmartin
Summary: Naruto leaves for his training with Jiraiya and his return only brings pain to the man he loves. NaruLee and slight GaiLee. Lee's POV.
1. Boring

**Chapter 1: Boring**

It was a pretty boring day. I was lying in the hospital. Why? I have no clue. They had finished my surgery days ago, but since I went out and fought, they wanted to monitor my health and what-not.

I had heard Naruto hadn't been able to bring Sasuke back, which made me sad. No, not because I wanted Sasuke back (I really didn't like him too much anyway). It was just that I knew how upset Naruto was.

Like I said, it was a boring day, so I wanted to go say "hello" to him and see how he was doing.

I left my room, not caring that the doctors didn't want me to be up. I was fine.

As I approached Naruto's room, I got a sudden chill and felt dizzy. I almost didn't want to go in, but I couldn't let him down if he needed someone there for him, so I went in.

"Oh, hey Bushy Brow..." Naruto said to me. I didn't hear even the slightest sign of happiness in his voice.

I walked over to him and sat on the edge of his bed, "Are you okay, Naruto?"

"Um... yeah. I was just thinking about Sasuke..."

I smiled at him, trying to show courage, "Hey, we will get him back here someday. You have nothing to worry about Naruto. I am prepared to risk my life to get him back and I know you are too. Now come on, I hate seeing you sad!"

I saw him grin slightly to himself but he said, "But I won't have a chance to bring him back... not until _I_ get back."

"Get back? From where?"

"Um, Pervy Sage is taking me on a two and a half year training around the country."

I gasped, "What?"

"Yeah... we're leaving tomorrow..."

"Oh, Naruto!" I said and hugged him, "It will be boring around here without you!"

I couldn't see his face but I knew he was smiling.

Naruto was a year younger than me, technically making me an "elder" to him, but we were able to treat each other as equals because we were so much alike.

We let go of one another and he said, "I'm really going to miss you... the whole village too, actually." He was laughing a little bit; a good sign.

I nodded, "I will miss you too."

He grinned, "Hey, you better pass those Chûnin Exams next time! For me!"

I flashed him the nice guy pose, "Of course!"

We laughed and he said, "Well, you should get back to your room and I have to leave and go get ready. I'll stop by before I leave though."

I smiled, "All right. Thank you, Naruto."

"Nah, thank you."

I was slightly surprised at those words coming from Naruto, but I bowed my head and got up to leave for my room.

I really was going to miss Naruto. That knucklehead, always running around shouting about how he'd be Hokage and how he was better than anyone who challenged him. I chuckled to myself just thinking of this.

But Naruto had a soft spot too, although you'd never get him to admit it!


	2. Departure

**Chapter 2: Departure**

I woke up early the day Naruto was to leave. Partly because the hospital's futon was extremely uncomfortable and partly because I wanted to remember him as best I could before he left.

He didn't even arrive until around noon, but I didn't mind. I was just glad he'd came.

I hadn't realized I was crying until he reached out to me and stroked my cheek, "Hey, stop crying, will ya? You're gonna make me cry!" he said, smiling sadly.

I nodded and apologized. I would have wiped my eyes, but he was doing it for me, so I just sat there and tried not to show how much I'd really miss him.

He took his hands from me and in an attempt to cheer me up, he said, "Hey, I'll get you a souvenir!"

Unfortunately, that just made me cry even worse.

He hugged me and waited for me to stop crying before he looked me in the eyes.

"I'm really gonna miss you..." he whispered and closed his eyes, leaning in closer.

As if it wasn't me controlling my body, I leaned in too.

We were kissing. Naruto and I. My face got hot and even as he pulled away I couldn't think straight.

Naruto grinned, "Well, you're a lot better than Sasuke! That's for sure!" I laughed slightly and sighed.

"I hope you have fun on your trip. Do not forget about me!" I said, smiling and ruffling his hair.

He smiled and said, "Of course I won't forget you! You're too cool for that!"

Now I knew my face was red. First he'd said I was a better kisser than Sasuke and then he said I was cool! I _had _to be dreaming.

I stuttered a bit before saying, "Uh, would you like to go to Ichiraku, before you leave, I mean?"

I should of known his answer. He _always _has time for ramen!

So we got there and talked a little about things like how awesome we would both be when he came back and then we argued about who would be stronger. But we both knew we were just having fun and it wasn't a real fight.

As soon as we were done, Naruto reached for his wallet, but I grabbed his hand, "No, I will pay." I smiled at him and took out my own wallet, handing Teuchi, the Ichiraku Ramen Shop's owner, the money we owed.

We left again, just so Naruto could take a last look at the village.

"Man, I'll miss this place..." Naruto said with a sigh.

"I know, but I am sure you will be back before you know it!"

He smiled at me, "Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Now, you get better while I'm away!"

"Of course!" I said, smiling with the nice guy pose.

Suddenly a tall man with white spikey hair appeared in front of us.

"Naruto, it's time to go." He said.

"Sure, Pervy Sage..." he sighed and looked toward me, "Take care of yourself, Bushy Brow!"

"I will. I promise." And that was the last I saw of him for a long time.


	3. He’s Back!

**Chapter 3: He's Back!**

I was out, training as usual. I had recently heard Naruto was coming back soon, so I'd doubled up my training. It's not that I was _unhappy_ with my progress, I just wanted to progress further before Naruto came around.

Sure, I'd become Chûnin, now wearing a vest to match my sensei's, so that I was especially proud of. But still, I wanted Naruto to acknowledge me just as much as I would acknowledge him.

I suddenly heard a noise and then, "Hey! Bushy Brow!"

I spun around to see Naruto running toward me.

"N-Naruto!" I was ecstatic to see him, "When did you get back?!"

"Just now! I couldn't wait to see you!" he hugged me and I noticed he was a lot taller than before he left.

His jacket was still orange, but it was tighter fitting and the top part and the sleeves were black. The cloth for his headband was black now too, and a lot longer. He still wore orange pants, but they weren't folded at the end now and his zori were now black too.

"Wow! You got really tall, Bushy Brow!"

I laughed, "Well, I _am_ a year older than you!"

"Still, I almost thought you were your sensei for a second!"

I smiled. Did I really look _that _much like him?

"Hey, come on!" he said, "Let's go to Ichiraku, like we did before I left!"

I was surprised he'd remembered, but I followed him anyway. I _was _pretty hungry!

"Hey! Naruto! Long time, no see!" Teuchi said as we entered.

"Yep! I've been looking forward to eating here again!" Naruto said.

"So, what will you be having?"

"Miso ramen with pork!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Same." I said. I had grown accustom to it after Naruto left and I decided to try it.

"Coming right up!" he said.

"So, you're a Chûnin now?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. I am sure you will pass when it comes around again!" I decided to exclude the fact that I'd cried when I realized him and I couldn't pass the exams together.

"Too bad we couldn't participate in it together!"

"Yeah..."

Are ramen soon came and he told me about his trip and all that. I loved hearing him talk about all this. It made him really happy to be telling it, too.

So, we were leaving Ichiraku and I was about to head home when Naruto stopped me.

"Hey, do you wanna come to my house. It's gonna be pretty dirty, but we can clean it and hang out and stuff..." he said.

I smiled, "Oh, sure Naruto!"

He took my hand, "Well, come on then!"

I sighed. He was just as energetic as he used to be... Oh well, I'd have been stupid to think he'd change. But I was glad he hadn't. He was more fun like this.

I followed him to his house and it wasn't _too _dirty. You know, excluding the dust... So he and I got to work, dusting everything in sight.

By the time we finished, it was eight o' clock at night, which made sense since we started at three.

"I guess I should be getting home..." I said.

"Wait!" Naruto grabbed my shoulder, "You want you're souvenir, right?"

"Oh!" I laughed, "Sure!"

He reached into his backpack and pulled out a small box and took it out to put in my hand.

"One more thing..." he said and stood on his toes, to make him the same height as me. I didn't know what he was doing so I pulled away slightly but he just leaned in until we were kissing... just like before he left.

I'll admit, I gave in then. I kissed him right on back. And I have no idea why, but I was crying too.

Naruto pulled away from me, "Is something wrong?"

He honestly did look worried, so I said, "N-no... I-I just missed you so much!" I cried and hugged him. I had told the truth. I really had missed him... more than he knew... and more than I'd known until that point.

Naruto hugged me back and waited for me to calm down, once again. I knew I was over-emotional sometimes, and I apologized to him, but he said not to worry about it. And you know what? I didn't.


	4. It's My Fault

**Chapter 4: It's My Fault**

I didn't feel to well, so I told Naruto I was going home... but he refused to let me! He said, "No, it's late. You can stay here."

Of course, I hate to be rude, so I agreed and asked where I would sleep. He said that we could both fit in his bed.

"Oh, right... of course!" I stuttered, nervously. That was the very thing I was afraid of. I hadn't been that close to a man since Gai-sensei and I used to go on missions and sleep in the same tent, and I never thought of it like this! I suddenly felt cold and said, "M-may I use your bathroom?"

"Sure!"

I rushed in there, not because I had to go, but because I was freaking out and didn't want Naruto watching.

I sat there shaking for a moment before I finally composed myself and allowed myself to leave.

When I got out there, I noticed Naruto was already dressed for bed so I slowly took off my flack jacket and I folded my headband and put it next to his. Next I took off my leg warmers and I was careful with my leg weights because they could have fallen straight through the floor if I hadn't. Then, I slowly took off my spandex, revealing my underwear. My face was boiling hot as I cautiously climbed into bed with Naruto. And all I could think about was how badly I wanted to go take a cold shower.

I don't think I've ever felt so awkward in my life, but I tried to stay calm. It was just a sleepover...

Naruto was asleep long before me. The moon was already above the apartment before I fell asleep. We both woke up at sunrise and had to eat ramen, since that was all he had... well, that and some severely expired milk, so I opt for water.

After that, we got dressed and I was shocked to see he didn't wear underwear under his pajamas!

I was still somewhat uncomfortable as I mechanically left for training.

What did this mean? My feelings were far beyond friendship. That I knew. What I _didn't _know is what exactly it was I felt for him. I admired him. I cared about him and I never wanted to be without him. It sounded so familiar... almost like love... but that was just unfathomable! Naruto was another man! That would just be _wrong_!

Then again, I had woken up with a huge hard-on, but that had to have been something else. Some sort of... fluke... Yeah, that was it!

But I knew better. I cried silently as I continued toward the training ground.

I made sure to wipe my eyes before walking into training. Just as I'd expected, there was Gai-sensei. He turned and waved to me, "Good morning, Lee!"

"Morning, sensei!" I called back. Even he couldn't cheer me up right now.

I knew he could sense my depression though. When I was a kid, he used to be able to sense it from a mile away, so I wasn't surprised when he confronted my this time.

"Are you okay, Lee?" he asked me.

"Yes, Gai-sensei, I am fine..."

"You don't look it."

"I just did not get much sleep last night, that is all."

"Are you sure?"

That was the first time I'd ever yelled at Gai-sensei. I called him words I didn't even know I knew... words far beyond insulting.

He stared at me in an expression I'd never seen.

"S-sensei..." I said but he stopped me.

"N-no, forget about it. It's okay." He said the words but he didn't mean them. I saw the hurt in his eyes. Just out of nervous reaction, I began to cry. I couldn't believe what I had said to him.

I ran off. It was all because of Naruto! If he hadn't made me stay at his house I never would have sworn at Gai-sensei!

I had never been so pissed off in my life.

I broke into Naruto's apartment to find he was gone, so I began wrecking the place. Looking for _something _that would help me get back at him.

After three hours, I still found nothing. His apartment was a mess and it look as if he'd been robbed. I didn't feel angry anymore. Just guilty.

I began cleaning up, making everything look better than it had before I wrecked the place.

Surprisingly, Naruto _still _wasn't home after that... So I left to find Gai-sensei. I had to apologize.

I opened the door to my sensei's apartment; he'd given me a key long ago.

It was dark and silent. Too quiet for him...

I took a deep, shaky breath. I knew it was late enough for him to be home, but... maybe he just went to the bar!

After a moment I took a step inside and closed the door behind me.

"Sensei! Are you here?!" I called out but got no reply.

I kept going, slowly. A chill came over me and I noticed that his bedroom door was closed. I ran to it and banged on it as hard as I could, "Sensei! Please! Open up! I did not mean what I said, just please let me in!"

I was trembling and nearly crying now.

I gulped before I broke his door down and what I saw shocked me. I couldn't move. I was terrified... because it was all my fault.


	5. Pain and Shock

**Chapter 5: Pain and Shock**

Blood was everywhere... all over the sheets on his bed, the walls, the floor... My throat felt like it was closing up and I couldn't breathe.

In his hand there was a knife... and a little piece of paper in the other.

I reached for it, as if I couldn't do anything else. I didn't want to continue looking at his mutilated body, but I did. My hands shook so terribly, I could hardy hold on to the paper, that was stained in blood.

I ran with it. Out of there and as far as I could before the images started going away.

I suddenly realized where I was: the balcony of the Acadamey, on which I'd told him my dreams and where he had told me to accept the surgery I had to get from Lady Tsunade.

I sat down and slowly unfolded the paper.

"Dear Lee," it read, "Whether or not you meant what you said, it was true. All of it was true. I'm sorry I've failed you like this... but it had to be done. I was slowing you down; I realize that now. I hope to God or Buddha, or whichever one actually exists, that you'll forgive me for what I've done to you. Not just taking my life, but... your fight with Gaara and everything else I could have stopped but didn't. But Lee, please, don't give up in yourself and carry on the Power of Youth. Please... do it for me..."

I gulped and nearly tore it in two I was shaking so bad. My brain wasn't functioning right and all I could think of was what I wanted for dinner. I didn't realize for a long time that I was just trying to block my sensei's suicide out of my mind, but my mind wasn't functioning the right way.

I tried to stand, but my legs shook to much and I collapsed. I nearly threw up I was crying so hard.

"Hey... Bushy Brow, what's wrong? Oh, and thanks for cleaning my apartment."

I was enraged by his voice but I knew it wasn't his fault, so I said nothing.

"Lee, are you all right?"

He'd referred to me by my name. That was all I'd ever wanted from him. He deserved to know.

"H-he's...dead." I managed to choke up the words.

"Dead?! Who?!"

I began to tell him but the words were caught in my throat.

He ran to my side and held me as I just bawled. I could tell he was reading the letter but I didn't care at that point. I felt so cold and angry and a whole bunch of other emotions that were impossible to describe.

He held me close and we both sat there for a very long time.

It was well past midnight before I could stand up and Naruto and I agreed we should report to the Hokage.

"He _what_?!" Tsunade nearly screamed the question.

I, not having been able to tell her much, handed over the letter.

She grimaced as she hand the letter back to me and Naruto and I both awaited her reply.

"We'll... we'll hold the funeral this Saturday. That gives you two days to relax a bit." She said finally, "But I'd prefer you not stay alone. Naruto, do you have any extra room in your apartment?"

"Yeah." He said.

"Then I'll have you stay with him, okay?" Tsunade said, looking at me.

"He's not dead." Were the only words I could utter, "He's not dead."

"Naruto..." she said, "Take him home, and keep a close eye on him. Don't leave him alone either, got it."

"Yes, ma'am."

I didn't quite like the tone she was using, but I understood her order. I hated it then, but now I understand it had been for the best.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow of Naruto's bed. All I wanted to do was sleep, and I could only home to wake up and find it had all just been a terrible dream.

Unfortunately, when I woke up, everything was still the same. I was still lying in Naruto's apartment, that smelled of instant ramen, and the letter from my sensei was still on the table. I shivered and hugged my knees. I wasn't really cold, just upset. My eyes began watering as I laid there and wished desperately that my sensei wasn't dead.

"H–hey, Bushy Brow... are you okay?" Naruto asked from behind me.

"Y–yeah, just go back to sleep..."

He wrapped his arms around me, "I heard you crying. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm... just a little shaken up Don't mind me, though. You need sleep."

"Contractions?"

"What?"

"You're using contractions."

"Oh, yeah. I decided not to bother anymore."

"Bushy Br– I mean, Lee... don't talk like that. You're gonna be okay."

"Says you."

"Hey, I promise you'll be okay. You can stay here as long as you want, too."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes, "Naruto... when I was little, I heard a saying. It said that all great ninja began as rookies that were believed in... but what happens when the person who used to believe in you leaves? What then?"

"He wasn't the only one who believed in you."

"Oh yeah? Name one other person."

"The future Hokage, me, first of all!"

"You?"

"Yeah. And Sakura does! And so do Neji and TenTen and Lady Tsunade and Kakashi-sensei too!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Then why do I feel like shit?"

"Because. You really cared a lot about your sensei and I know what it's like to lose a good friend. But at least I know I can bring Sasuke back eventually. I couldn't imagine not being able too..."

"Gai-sensei was more to me than a friend. He was my mentor, my idol... he was like a father to me any no matter what, he was always there when I needed him. Knowing he'll never be there again... it hurts me, Naruto."

He was lost for words. I could tell by his breathing pattern. So instead, he just pulled me closer and held me tight. We both fell back asleep that way.


End file.
